Don’t get me wrong. I love attention. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be on Twitter, Facebook or this site. If I didn’t like the limelight, I wouldn’t be in PR and I certainly never would have been a musician or been the host of TEDxLansing. I understand the attraction of being the center of attention better than most.

However, there are really two ways to achieve that attention. For example, as a musician, I loved booking shows and getting up on stage to perform. In that situation, both the performer and venue patrons have made a compact. The musician is there to entertain and the patrons are there to listen. At the very least, the patrons are aware there is going to be someone playing music and they accept that.

The other way, though, is more along the lines of an attention whore. I have never understood the self-centered nature it takes to be the guy who brings his guitar (or other instrument) to a party, totally unannounced and without being asked to.  Suddenly, as everyone is talking and having a good time, this asshat pulls out his guitar and starts playing, forcing everyone around him to either stop and listen or feel rude for trying to continue their conversations.

Don’t be that guy.

Don’t bother stopping, I’ll just hop out right here

As the new web and social media have taken hold, it’s opened up a whole new world to would-be attention whores. Most recently, there’s Steven Slater, the Jet Blue flight attendant who got so fed up with a passenger on one of his flights that he actually grabbed a couple of beers out of the cooler, deployed the plane’s inflatable emergency escape ramp and tumbled his way onto the tarmac, but not before announcing to the entire cabin via the intercom and a few choice expletives exactly what he though of the passenger. Mr. Slater is being “hailed as a working class hero” according to the article linked above.

Working class hero? Nah, he’s an attention whore with a flair for the dramatic. Oh, and he’s in trouble for breaking several federal laws regarding air travel safety. Hundreds of thousands of people in the service industries deal with crappy customers every day. Rude people suck and anyone who has worked in the service sector has wanted to do what good ol’ Stevie did, but most of us have a little more self-control.

Now we’re inundated with smug-looking photos of Mr. Slater holding up his Jet Blue employee badge and basking in the glory of his 15 minutes of fame. Those are not photos of a working class hero. They’re images of a guy who’s enjoying the attention.

Jenny, I got your number

Next came Jenny, the young girl who supposedly quit her job via photos of her writing a scathing (and admittedly funny) rant about her boss on a small dry erase board. As the story went viral, Twitter and other social media sites lit up with people hailing young Jenny for her guts and her willingness to tell her boss to take this job and shove it. I and a lot of others questioned the story for a number of reasons. To me, it seemed TOO perfect. It felt like a hoax or a cry for attention.

Beyond that, though, if it was real, I had to wonder what happened to decorum? What happened to taking the high road? Just quit your job with dignity. Don’t give your boss the satisfaction of knowing he got to you. Don’t take 30 photos of yourself ridiculing said boss and email them to your coworkers. The key word here is “professionalism.” Just because he has no concept of it, doesn’t mean you can just throw it out the window.

Of course we now know the whole thing was a hoax. Nothing more than a way for a few people to see if they could go viral. They achieved their success, but who cares? It was fake. All it did is waste our time.

In discussions with a few of my friends, they cited her willingness to bring to light a serious issue faced by women all over the world. I can understand that. Sexual harassment and violence toward women must not be tolerated and the penalties must be severe. End of story. If this had been a real situation and she had been using the opportunity to bring an important issue to light, there is perhaps something to be said for that.

But, by using it to perpetrate a hoax, haven’t they actually done more to damage those who are legitimately suffering such harassment? It’s hard enough for women to be taken seriously about these issues without people using them to gain fame.

What also disturbs me is that we WANTED it to be true. Are we so obsessed with the cult of personality that we can’t let a day go by without someone becoming a meme? Everyone is so concerned with being known that they rarely stop to think about whether they’re being applauded or ridiculed. And if they do think about it, many don’t care either way.

It comes down to this: The search for fame is an empty search at best. Do good deeds, not for recognition, but for the sake of the deed and helping others. If recognition comes, accept it graciously and gracefully. If it doesn’t, be happy in the knowledge that you changed something for the better.

Tuesday was a great example. I came into the office and began going through my emails from the long holiday weekend. One of my Google Alerts indicated that osteopathic medicine had been referenced in an article in one of the Detroit papers. I clicked the link to see what was written and, unfortunately, discovered that the article repeated a common misconception about how osteopathic physicians are trained, and in doing so, could have led readers to believe that osteopathic physicians (D.O.) are somehow lesser than their allopathic (M.D.) colleagues.

I was instantly outraged. This required an immediate letter to the editor! No, wait! I was going to write an editorial and demand they publish it! I could not allow this OBVIOUSLY intentional slight to stand. Heads were going to roll. Roll, I tell you.

Then I took a step back. I reread the article. The offending statement (just a sentence, really) was just a small part of an otherwise good story about how one Detroit medical school was looking to innovate in its approach to physician training. It was not an attack. It was not intentional.

I also thought back on my career and some of the things I had done that I later regretted, such as overreacting to a news story (oh yeah … definitely guilty of that). On those occasions, had I cultivated a new contact or had I alienated a reporter? I think the latter.

So I tried a different approach. I decided to become a resource rather than an adversary. I composed a quick email to the article’s author thanking her for a great story, but gently pointing out her error. I told her that I understood that trying to explain how osteopathic medicine is different from allopathic medicine can be extremely difficult and that I sympathized with her. I then offered to help her whenever she needed it.

She responded very quickly and apologized for the error. She even asked if I had a kind of concise statement that explained how the two types of medicine are different so she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. We exchanged a couple more emails throughout the day and I really feel as though I’ve fostered a potentially good new contact in the media.

This is one of those lessons that they teach you over and over, but it can be so hard to exercise in practice. It’s especially difficult in today’s world where we can be so quick to judge others for their shortcomings without acknowledging our own.

There are several cliches running through my head at the moment, mostly having to do with old dogs and new tricks or honey vs. vinegar as a fly attractor, but I’ll leave it at that.

Photo courtesy of Andrea Kerbuski

Just under a year and a half ago, I starting using Twitter “seriously.” In other words, I sucked it up and retried a service I previously thought was fairly useless. At the time, it seemed like just one more channel of information to have to monitor. It hurts to admit that, because since then I have become a Twitter evangelist. It is by far my favorite social network and, since those lowly beginnings in February of 2009, my friends and followers lists have both grown substantially.

But, of course, it’s not about quantity … it’s all about quality. Most importantly, the relationships I’ve built over this period of time have altered my perceptions permanently. My professional and social networks have expanded exponentially and in ways I never could have imagined. I’ve met (both virtually and IRL) so many incredible people that there are truly too many to name.

That all came to a head when I had the amazing privilege and honor of hosting TEDx Lansing.

Since the close of the event just after 5 p.m. on May 21, I’ve been struggling  to come terms with just what it meant to me, to the greater Lansing area and to our state. I’m still trying to get it all straight in my brain, but I can tell you one thing: I have been forever changed, and I think (at least in some small ways), the region and the state have been, as well.

Don’t believe me? I read today on Twitter that the Michigan organ donor registry has increased by 100 names directly resulting from Betsy Miner-Swartz’s presentation at TEDx Lansing. That represents the potential to save hundreds of lives.

Beyond that, I’ve watched as attendees, volunteers and presenters have connected with each other on social networks. I see people beginning to work together on new projects. I see things happening that weren’t happening before.

But really, I think the most important thing I’ve learned is something I’ve been told over and over: You get out of life exactly what you put into it.

Photo courtesy of Andrea Kerbuski

Two years ago, I never would have been involved with something like TEDx Lansing. The same is true for another great volunteer event, Lansing Give Camp. Not because I didn’t have the drive or desire, I just didn’t have the network of friends and colleagues that would have even clued me into the possibility.  Social media and, more specifically, Twitter, opened up my world for me in a way I never would have guessed.

Old-school types like to claim that all this time spent on computers and smart phones is keeping us from real life and real relationships. We’re too busy keeping up with people we know on our screens rather than cultivating our relationships with our real-life friends and family.

Bullshit. My social media relationships have given me as much as I’ve given them. In fact, by being open to new relationships, I’ve changed for the better. I’ve become more active in my community and more aware of my place in it.

I’ve learned. I’ve met new, good people. I’ve become someone who takes action rather than just talking about it.

Social media didn’t make me do those things, it simply provided a conduit for acting on them.

Thanks to everyone who attended, presented at and volunteered for TEDx Lansing. I will never be able to adequately express how much it means to me to have shared that experience with you. Thanks also to my friends and followers on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn and elsewhere. Keep challenging me to act.

I can’t wait to see what the next year will bring.

Here’s a list as best as I can remember, with years, when possible (Note: I know some are missing. I’ll add them when I remember):

Huey Lewis & the News (1986)

REM (1989 and 1996)

Throwing Muses (1989)

Sting x2 (1989)

Concrete Blonde (1989)

Violent Femmes (1989)

Midnight Oil  (1990 x2 and 2004)

The Origin (1990)

Hunters & Collectors (1990)

Depeche Mode w/Nitzer Ebb (1990)

Love & Rockets (1990)

Morrissey (1991 and 2009)

Lollapalooza (1992)
Included Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Ministry, Ice Cube, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Jesus & Mary Chain, Lush

Buffalo Tom x5 (1992, 1994, 2001, 2008)

U2 x2 (1992) and x1 (2004)

The Pixies (1992)

Primus (1992)

Material Issue (1992)

The Cure  (1992, 1996 and 1997)

The Swans (1992)

Grateful Dead (1994)

Love Spit Love (1994)

Catherine Wheel x7 (1995, 1997, 1999, 2000)

Silverchair (1995)

Belly (1995)

Toad the Wet Sprocket (1996 x2, 1998, 2002)

Smashing Pumpkins (1996, 1998 x2)

Grant Lee Buffalo (1996)

Radiohead (1996)

Ani DiFranco (1996, 1998, 2006)

Duncan Sheik (1996)

Barenaked Ladies (1998, 2000, 2002)

Blur (1998)

Sarah McLachlan (1998)

Candyskins (1999)

Bill Janovitz (2000)

Son Volt (2002, 2x unknown)

Matthew Good Band (2002)

G Love & Special Sauce (2002)

Angie Aparo (2004)

The Sheila Divine (2004)

Jason Mraz (2004)

Fountains of Wayne (2004, 2007)

I seem to be missing some stuff from 2005-2006 …

Neko Case (2005, 2009)

Elvis Costello (2007)

Rob Dickinson (2007)

The Police (2007)

Dar Williams (2007)

Rilo Kiley (2008)

The Pogues (2008)

The Meatmen (2008)

Nine Inch Nails w/Bauhaus (2008)

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club w/The Duke Spirit (2008)

Matthew Good (2008)

Deadstring Brothers (2008, 2009)

Matt Mays & El Torpedo (2008)

Gore Gore Girls (2008)

Sponge w/Rhythm Corps (2008)

The Pretenders w/American Bang (2008)

Mike Ness w/Jesse Dayton (2009)

They Might Be Giants w/Oppenheimer (2009)

Huey Lewis & the News (2009)

Bloodshot Records 15th Anniversary BBQ, Madison, WI (2009)
Included: Deano Waco & the Meat Purveyors, The Deadstring Brothers, Bobby Bare, Jr., HaHa Tonka, The Waco Brothers, The Bottle Rockets, Justin Townes Earle

Hank Williams III (2009)

Old Crow Medicine Show (2009)

Ann Arbor Folk Festival (2010)
Included: Iron & Wine, Jay Farrar & Ben Gibbard, Band of Heathens

Camper Van Beethoven  & Cracker (2010)

Wilco (2010)

Justin Townes Earle w/Joe Pug x2 (2010)

The Avett Brothers w/The Low Anthem (2010)

Flogging Molly (2010)

Various local shows, most multiple times (1990 – current)
Includes The Hannibals, 19 Wheels, The Verve Pipe,  Calliope, Paucity, The Hard Lessons, Goober & the Peas, Electric Six, The Huntunes, Dorothy, Day-Glo Orange, Domestic Problems, Day 28, Steppin’ In It, The Lash, Big Willie, Daisy May, Ingham County Regulars, The Grand Nationals

One of my BIGGEST pet peeves, though, is people who can’t seem to figure out when to use “I” vs. “me.”

See, sometime back in our elementary school pasts, our teachers hammered into our heads the importance of using “I” properly, which is definitely important. The problem is, some of us apparently learned that “me” is never correct, which is, of course, just plain wrong.

For example, I’ll hear (or read) the following:

“Who wants to go to the store with Jess and I?”

Looks right, doesn’t it? I mean, it’s ALWAYS right to use “I,” isn’t it?

NO.

The correct way to say (or write) that would be: “Who wants to go to the store with Jess and me?”

But … but … but Ryan … YOU USED “ME!”

Yeah, I did. And I’ll do it again.

Here’s a really good test to help you figure out whether to use “I” or “me”: Just take out the other person. In the example above, you wouldn’t say, “Who wants to go to the store with I?,” so why would you say, “Who wants to go to the store with Jess and I?”

Yeah, it’s really that simple. Another example:

“He brought Jess and I a beer.”

Ummm … would you say, “He brought I a beer”? No, you wouldn’t. You’d say, “He brought me a beer,” so it must be right to say, “He brought Jess and me a beer.”

So when is “I” correct? Lots of times!

“Jess and I are going to the store.”

How do I know to use “I” there? Because I can say, “I am going to the store.” I would never say, “Me am going to the store,” so “I” must be correct.

A couple more examples of the correct way to use “I”:

“Jess and I thought about getting brownies, but settled on ice cream instead.”

“Did you know that Jess and I sometimes skip dessert altogether and go straight to beer?”

Are you starting to get it? Need more examples?

“Jess and I walked to the store yesterday.”
(“I walked to the store yesterday.”)

“Beth walked to the store with Jess and me.”
(“Beth walked to the store with me.”)

“After a series of mishaps, Jess and I discovered that ice cream cones are actually in the snacks aisle.”
(“After a series of mishaps, I discovered that ice cream cones are actually in the snacks aisle.”)

“The clerk helped Jess and me find the ice cream cones.”
(The clerk helped me fine the ice cream cones.”)

See, it’s really not that hard at all!

Now, who wants to go with Jess and me to get a beer?

The main problem is that there’s just so damned much in which I’m interested. I’m a musician, photographer, writer, editor … the list goes on. Do I make this blog about ALL those things? Do I focus on communications and social media? Then where do I write about my music? In most respects, I’m just a hack photographer, but I do take a nice shot every now and again, and I do care about the medium a great deal. I’d love for this to be a place where I can post my photos for people to see. What about cooking? I love to create new recipes and improve on old ones (well, USUALLY improve). Do I include that here, too?

In a lot of respects, this blog is starting to sound like a pretty good symbol of my whole life. I’m great at being mediocre at a lot of things. But I think I’ve often lacked the discipline to get really good at any of them. Is it laziness? ADD? General douchebaggery? Only my hairdresser knows for sure.

So here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m going to write about the things that interest me. I’ll try to be witty and interesting, but I promise nothing. This is not going to be a bitch site. It’s not going to be a place where I try to be overly profound. I’m just a guy who likes lots of stuff and wants to write about it.

Welcome!